As the classroom beckons our little ones back to school , there’ll be a sense of satisfaction among parents that they made it through another summer holiday.
You did it! Whether you flew solo, relied on holiday clubs, or enlisted the help of relatives or anyone else you could muster up, you’ve done it.
But it’s never without some tears and tantrums along the way – and that’s just the grown ups.
And let’s face it, there are some parenting phrases that we all rely on (a little too much) to make it through the long break.
Here are some you’ll no doubt recognise… I’m sure you have more!
If you need the toilet, go now
Said before every trip out. Usually met with ‘I don’t need it’, only to get five minutes down the road and guess what? They need it!
I’m not going to tell you again
Otherwise known as ‘don’t make me tell you again’. But you will. You’ll say it again, and again, oh and again – because guess what, they don’t listen.
I can’t hear myself think
What does that even mean? It’s a thing, it’s definitely a thing, but I’m damned if I know what it means.
What do we say?????
Your cue for ‘please’, or ‘thank you’ when child rather abruptly grabs drink or food passed to them from friend, relative, or waiter. They have the distinct knack of forgetting these words when you’re most hoping to impress.
We’re not made of money you know
No, we’re not. Do kids get that? Do they heck as like. ‘I want, I want, I want’. You just know you sound like your own parents when you come out with this one!
I’m sick of hearing it
What’s that you’re sick of – the whining? the bickering? the screaming? All of the above. Yes we know, but just think how quiet it will be when they’re back at school and you’re…. oh yes, in the office.
Because I said so, that’s why
If your friends jumped off a bridge would you?
Said when child does something stupid – like throw their coat in a puddle… because ‘Alfie did’ – grrrrrr!
A sleepover? Maybe next time
Friend comes to play at your house – ‘can we have sleepover’? Your child goes to play at friend’s house – ‘can we have a sleepover’? Maybe next time kid, in like 10 years! And why are they called sleepovers anyway when nobody ever sleeps!!
If you can’t play nice then don’t play together / sit together / breathe the same air
You know the one.
Do you want me to take away your ???
A threat used the world over – usually revolving around child’s favourite toy and more recently used for tablets / phones or any other technology they like to bury their head in.
How many times do I have to tell you that it IS ALWAYS light when you go to bed in the summer
Although by the time you manage to get them to sleep, it’s no longer light is it. It’s pitch black as you flop onto your sofa and wonder whether you’ll ever again reach the end of a day without being utterly exhausted.
Ah well, at least you’ve got a bit of time to ‘hear yourself think’ – if the little people upstairs don’t have other ideas that is!