Some people believe that it’s tacky or distasteful to talk about money with a partner. 

But did you know that, according to a LendingTree report, 23 percent of people have ended a relationship because of financial incompatibility? 

It makes sense – as the cost of living is rising, more and more people want to make sure that money is something they’re considering when taking a partner seriously.

If you know that financial compatibility is something you want to prioritize when considering a (potentially life-long) partner, but don’t know where to start, Gamblizard personal finance strategist Jamie Wall broke down a few questions you can use to vet a partner. 

‘Can we handle each other’s priorities?’  

We typically spend money on things we personally deem are important.

And this doesn’t always align with what other people prioritize when spending. 

Wall explained that discussing spending habits early on can help relieve any future tension that might arise because of them. 

‘Dreams of luxury vacations and designer fits don’t usually match very nicely with your partner’s rocking thrift store crawls and meal prepping to save cash,’ he said. 

Assessing if your spending priorities are aligned with your partner’s can be a telling indicator of whether or not you’re financially compatible (stock image)

He said to not just ask what another person will always spend money on, but also what they won’t ever pay for – and then you have to see if that fits into your own lifestyle. 

If you’re someone who loves to travel but your partner thinks of it as a waste, is traveling solo realistic for you? 

And if they’re not into fine dining, but you’re into experimenting with new food all the time, will you be satisfied dining with friends? 

Is that what you want out of a relationship?   

‘The goal isn’t to be identical, but to understand is you can live with their priorities,’ he said. 

‘Is there anyone else involved in our finances?’

Even though a relationship typically involves two people, financial obligations don’t always follow suit. 

It’s possible that either you or your partner (or both of you) have other people that you’re financially supporting. 

Wall said it’s important to consider if your partner is sending money home often, or is expected to step up were a family financial emergency to occur. 

Or, on the other hand, your partner may be financially dependent on their family – meaning that someone else could have control over their serious money decisions. 

‘It’s clever to discuss boundaries, too: how much support is okay for you before it affects your financial well-being?’ Wall said. 

Couples should be open and honest about what other parties (families, children) may be involved in their finances (stock image)

‘What scares us when it comes to money?’

Even the most financially secure people can have money-related fears. 

This is why it’s important to assess any worries your partner might have about money. 

‘If your biggest fear is debt dependency, while your partner fears not being able to live life to the fullest, this contrast can lead to misunderstandings in spending,’ Wall said. 

He emphasized that not having similar money fears does not mean that you and your partner are incompatible. 

It just means that you need to broaden your perspective and understand where your partner’s fears are coming from. 

This way, you’ll have an easier time assessing how you want to save, spend, and manage risk. 

‘Do our financial goals align?’  

When people talk about compatibility, it usually involves whether or not their morals and values align. 

But Wall said financial goals should be considered similarly.   

‘Money isn’t just about buying capacity, it’s also about where you want to be in a couple of years,’ he said. 

‘Your potential partner’s career plans – or lack of them – can impact your shared future.’

And Wall said that even though your goals don’t have to be entirely the same in order to be compatible, they do need to complement each other.  

While your goals don’t have to be identical, they should complement each other.

This is why it’s important to ask your partner questions about where they see themselves in five years, if they want high-earning careers, if they want to be the ‘breadwinner.’

It also means asking if they want to be a homeowner or are okay with renting their whole lives.  

The more your life goals align, the more likely it is that your financial goals align as well.